The City with no beer

With my apologies to the Irish.......

So I tried to buy some beer here the other day. It is not dry, that is a good thing, but it is damn close to it. I was in Super Wal-Mart (oh joy) and noticed the poor beer selection (yes I am a beer snob). Super Wal-Mart had Miller, Bud, Corona, and Smirnoff flavored malt beverage....that is it. I went to the grocery store to do better........no luck. Kroger carries Bud, Miller, Corona, and Boone's Hill (not a beer). So I need to find beer.
Also, for those who don't know it, Greenville's water is BROWN! Not brown-ish as the locals claim, it is freaking BROWN!
Anyway, my friend La sent me this poem about my plight:

It's not easy being green....
sitting around with the water being brown...
having no beer in the fridge.....
and an air mattress above the ground.